Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Noel

Goodbye little one.
In a few short weeks
you gave me a glimpse of eternity.
It may be considered silly
over-the-top even to grieve like this
in a cave
away from all light
not hearing anyone
but I want to be in the darkness
with you.



Friday, December 19, 2008

Waiting and Worrying


Yes, yes,-I know it's been about 7 bazillion years since I last posted but I've been a little 'preoccupied' one might say.

As of tomorrow I'm 9 weeks pregnant. I have been 8 weeks pregnant for about 3 weeks now, but according to the official scan undertaken on wednesday, that's how it is. For explanation see someone more together than me:-)

I'm not very good at this whole pregnancy thing. For starters, I drank a litre and a half of water for my first scan and hopped about the pathologists and ultransonographers waiting rooms in serious agony ( No wee wee wee all the way home for about 2 hrs at this point)...try it.

This was because I hadn't read the instructions properly (so what else is new?)....2 glasses was all that was needed. The ultrasound tech had a good giggle at my expense and ordered me to void 'about half'...try this too. When you're busting beyond belief and someone tells you to leave some in there...about half you consider serious physical violence.

So, heart thunping I lie back on the seriously uncomfy bed thingy and have goo squeezed on my abdomen. 'Don't worry, it's been warmed' says my blonde and very wholesome-looking male tech. He was, of course, lying. It may have been warm for a penguin, but I had to point out that for regular human beings it was bloody cold. He and Mr just chuckled at me. I resolve to squeeze cold goo on Mr sometime soon and see what he has to say.

Lo and behold, despite serious misgivings (due to spotting and bleeding for a week) there it was, the snot-prawn was alive and had a healthy heart rate of 155bpm. tech-man wasn't entirely happy though, apparently I have a 'small sac' for this week. He raced off to consult with the Doc. Doc came in and said 'Yes, you have a small sac'. Helpful.

I questioned what that could mean,-the answer 'probably nothing but we'll get you in for an extra scan in 2 weeks just to be sure'....okaaaay, way to make me panic all over again.

I was allowed to go the toilet properly and we left $130 poorer.

Then we went to the Plaza so I could buy 'Zoo Tycoon' and 'Simcity4' and a cinnamon pretzel.

So, still spotting, still scared and dying for a cigarette. On New Year's Eve I will find out if the prawn has made it through this couple of weeks. I think I'm supposed to enjoy Xmas in the meantime....