Finally

It's here! In exactly 6 hours and 22 minutes I will be on holidays! No more teaching for two weeks...oh joy and relief and a huge exhalation.
In the next 2 hours I will summon up the strength to go in to work for the last stretch. The strength will come from a can of 'V' and a nice bubble bath (whilst listening to the 'Pride and Prejudice' Soundtrack.) The bubbles will smell of Ylang Ylang, Lavender and Cinnamon.

When I come home I will have a comforting meal. Devilled vegan sausages, mash and cajun veges. When my tummy is happy, I will brew a huge pot of tea and settle down with Rutherford's 'The Forest' on the balcony. It will have stopped blowing a gale by then and will be a pleasant spring evening laced with the smells of Jasmine, Wisteria and Lavender.

I will not feel sorry for myself. I will not be jealous that mum and dad could afford to go to 'Dead Man Walking' and I couldn't. I will ignore the extremely drastic state of my finances and instead amuse myself planning thrifty but tasty meals for the next few days.

Tomorrow I will go for a walk, I will potter in the garden, I will make seitan and clean out my bedroom. The only music in my world will be what I choose to listen to. I will be able to use the energy I normally spend trying to motivate others to motivate and nurture myself. I will be quiet and calm and spend time watching the tiny birds in the snow-tree. I will chat to Nimue and play with her in the sunshine.

I will entertain vague hopes that my brother will find some time to spend with me soon. I will dream pleasant dreams and fall in love with my doona. I will Live, not just survive.
Amen.