Committed

I think I have finally reached the conclusion that I have indeed taken on too much. Working 6 days a week and trying to study is just not working out real well to be honest. With the demands of two jobs, I am finding that when I do have time to study, my mind is well and truly elsewhere. The second job in particular requires alot more admin hours than were originally mentioned (that, or I'm as slow as a wet week with paperwork), and my hours at the School of Music seem to be increasing.

I have therefore decided that I will defer my Uni enrolment until 1st semester 09. It feels an awful lot like giving up,-even though I know it isn't. I need to reclaim some time for myself to indulge in things that make life worth living. I need some hours to cook meals for us, to be in my garden, to see my friends and family without feeling that I should be studying. I need a full day off to go for a drive to farmers markets, or to see a view. I need time to clean my house and to do the washing. These seem like small and trivial things, but without them I am eating, sleeping and working.

I haven't discussed this with Mr as yet, but I know he'll be supportive. It is a shame, but my strange personality is well-formed and there are things that make existing worthwhile that need to be taken into account. I haven't seen cybervixen for months and my contact with my brother is sporadic at best. I haven't seen a live show in almost a year, and there is no space for personal creative growth.

It's time to say 'enough'. and mean it.
When you see pieces of yourself unravelling you need a day of mending or holes will soon appear in your carefully constructed pattern. You have the option of deliberately unravelling and starting over with a new pattern, should you wish, but if you are fond of the old garment and have no wish to don a new life, mending is preferred. Mending should be undertaken when necessary and extraneous concerns relegated to their rightful place in your grand scheme.

Mending is best accompanied by lots of tea and strolls in winter sunshine. Hand-feeding a king parrot will help, as will laughing at a kitten, mashed potato and fun novels with little intellectual content. I will go to work today and tomorrow. On Sunday, I will make mending phone calls and emails and get things sorted. Wish me luck.