Sometimes, just sometimes people really do my head in. Normally I'm sarcastic and cyncical and unsurprised by people.
Today things are getting under my skin.
This is probably because I've spent my entire day doing 'industry' PR and being terribly nice to total strangers. This is why people hire me,-an odd propensity to speak to strangers as though we are already friends.
This has been quoted as a 'strength' of mine. The consequences are far-reaching though.
I spend my day pretending. Therefore the real friends become (in comparison) highly consequential. Which means I get disappointed. Which leads me back to the safe assumption that people are just no damn good.
Which is comforting. I can now go to bed with my walls well in place and my defenses fortified.
I can wake on the morrow with absolute confidence that the day will hold one disappointment or another. I will be pleasantly unsurprised. I will be strong again.
On the rare occasions that I let idealism rather than pragmatism inform my emotions, I whip myself silly for my stupidity. I like willful Naivete, but it just leaves one a little 'unprotected'. I will henceforth discuss the concept philosophically, rather than embracing/living it.
I may sound bitter. I assure you I'm not. Just a little greyer than I was yesterday. It's all about balance and self-control. What was it that Cam said? I shall show myself by hiding myself (sans beard, obviously:-). Things are simple when you have a fortress!
We are opposite! I walk around thinking everybody is excellent unless they do something to dispel this belief. They often do but my brain doesn't care, everything and everyone is woot! (unless they are a fucktard).
ReplyDeleteOh I wish to be you, just for a day...(oh wait, done that:-), I admire that attitude so much, I just prefer not being hurt:-)
ReplyDeleteI swing between both extremes. And my left armpit is very itchy.
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